We write each other poetry, we have romantic dinners, we shower each other with flowers and chocolates. 

But is love really about roses and poems and Cadbury’s finest?

No, it’s not (but I’ll take the chocolate anyway!).

Have you always felt like there’s quite a bit of chemistry between you and your romantic partner?

Well, there is. Love is all about chemistry.

It’s about a fantastic cocktail of chemicals and neurotransmitters swirling around in our brains, making us feel great.

So let’s take a little look at the chemistry of lurve.

Dopamine is one of the neurotransmitters that increases in our brains when we start to feel a romantic attraction to another person.

It’s a chemical that’s associated with regions of our brains that deal with reward and pleasure, and it motivates us to pursue pleasurable experiences.

Experiences like finding a partner and feeling desired.

Dopamine is triggered by the search for love.

Initial attraction to another person also changes levels of another neurotransmitter, serotonin.

Serotonin helps to regulate our mood, and other things like appetite and sleep.

Low levels of serotonin can result in anxiety, insomnia and obsessive behaviour.

When we first fall in love our levels of serotonin can drop – which might explain why we can feel anxious and think obsessively about our new crush!

But don’t worry, stay with that person long enough and your serotonin levels will bounce back to normal.

Falling in love can leave you feeling, well, a bit high.

This is no accident.

When we fall in love, our brains produce another neurotransmitter, called phenylethylamine, or PEA.

Like caffeine, or ecstasy, PEA is an amphetamine – a chemical that acts as a stimulant.

What does it do? It gives you those feelings of infatuation, and the natural high of falling in love.

Attraction and lust are one thing – but how do our brains make sure we stay in love?

Vasopressin is a hormone that is best known for its role in regulating the production of urine – which doesn’t sound very romantic.

But, it seems vasopressin might also play a role in relationships.

There is some evidence that it’s released into the brain after we have sex, where it creates a desire to stay with that sexual partner, and helps us develop emotional attachments.

Long-term romantic attachment also results in increased levels of oxytocin, the neurotransmitter often referred to as the “love hormone”.

Oxytocin influences our social interactions, and promotes feelings of well-being and love.

We release oxytocin in response to human contact, like cuddling, hugging and kissing, and it helps us to feel content and secure in our relationships. 

Why are our brains so well wired to make us fall in love?

Well, it’s about survival.

Not survival as individuals, but survival as a species, and the survival of your genes.

Falling in love and bonding with a mate increases the chances we’ll reproduce, and pass our genes on to future generations.

Ah, is there anything more romantic than a bit of neurochemistry?