Victims speak out in sex abuse debate

They want their story told in this ongoing debate about child sex abuse in Australia; how such abuse has impacted their lives and those of their families.

At least three victims have written of their experiences; others are reluctant to give voice to painful memories.

Allan Keith Huggins, 68, who worked at Earle Page College, O’Connor Catholic School and The Armidale School during the 1980s has been found guilty of sexually assaulting seven boys in his care 25 years ago.

Two victims tell their stories of child sexual abuse at the hands of another perpretatrator.

The first wants to remain anonymous and Peter Jurd reflects on his brother Damian’s tragic suicide after being a victim of abuse.

“WHAT happened [to me] impacts my life every day.

I was sexually abused.

I have health issues that I believe are a result of the sexual abuse that I endured over three years.

“As a young man, I attempted suicide. 

"This was definitely linked to the confusion I felt about the frequent assaults I endured. I have had episodes of anxiety and other medical issues that are linked to memories of what happened to me.

“I have for many years wondered about Armidale, and what I believe has been a culture of secrecy about what occurred. 

“Many, many people have known about what is alleged to have occurred. But no one spoke out.

“There are now allegations against others. 

“Fairfax Media has been reporting these allegations since March 2014. 

“Since that time, many more people have come forward with further allegations .”

- “JB” 

"THE last time I saw Damian alive he was in a mess. 

"He had battled drug addiction for many years, and the physical and mental effects of long-term drug use and dependency had started to take their toll on him.

"We had been to my sister’s property in Inverell for Christmas with most of the family there.

"It was a good couple of days, and Damian had seemed happy to be there if not a little distracted. 

"On the way home back to Tamworth, we had a chance to talk, and while it was great to spend some time with him I soon got the impression he was not in a good place.

"When I dropped him off at his place, I told him I’d come around in a couple of days to see how he was.

"I knew things were bad with Damian, and I kept thinking I’ll go around and somehow fix things. The next day I planned on going around, but things that must have seemed important at the time kept coming up. 

"I didn’t get around there till the next day and by then it was too late. 

"Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the ‘what if’, would things have been different if I had just found the time to go the couple of kilometres and check on him?

"Every day I have to convince myself that his death wasn’t my fault because I got caught up in seemingly important stuff I can’t even remember now. 

"I suspect this is a common occurrence when people lose someone close to them. 

"It’s easy to analysis what happen and blame yourself.

"My parents had done everything humanly possible to help Damian from the time they had found out the reasons for his going off the rails at an early age. 

"Mum had moved towns and spent thousands of dollars over many years trying to help Damian. 

"In reality, all she did was spend most of her time rescuing him from one disaster after another while his life spiralled out of control. 

"The pain and anguish Damian had inadvertently caused her and the toll it has taken on her has affected every aspect of her life on a level that only other parents who have gone through a similar thing can ever understand.

"However, the simple truth is that Damian’s death could not have been prevented by myself or by my mother.  

"His death was the result of being sexually abused by a person he trusted and by a callous and cruel church hierarchy that chose to protect itself over the well being of a nine-year-old child they were supposed to protect. 

"[The accused’s] actions were evil and despicable.

"I hope with all my being that he goes to jail for the rest of his life and that perhaps in some small way this will help his victims still alive. But there is the further issue of the actions of the church. 

"At the very least they are guilty of gross negligence in allowing an [alleged] child molester to move from town to town abusing children when they were aware of multiple allegations concerning him. 

"At the worst they were completely aware of what he had done (and was still doing).

"But they chose to not do anything about it for the sake of the Church’s reputation and in doing this effectively participated in allowing [the accused] to perpetrate his evil. 

"[The accused] will face the consequences of his actions eventually but will the people involved in allowing him to continue (and in my opinion making them just as guilty) face any justice? 

"Perhaps the current Royal Commission will provide that.

"Or perhaps someone involved with the decisions made at the time concerning [the accused] will examine their conscience and finally come forward to tell the truth that so desperately needs telling."

- Peter Jurd

If this story raises any issues for you, contact Bravehearts on 1800 272 831 or Lifeline on 13 14 14.