It's that time of year again, romance is in the air with Valentine's Day on February 14.

It has occurred to me that romance is a very subjective thing.

For some it is roses, champagne and chocolate, an indulgent get away...possibly even jewellery.

Without a doubt these things are wonderful and a much-appreciated romantic option.

But I can't help but see romance in something much more substantial - the bigger picture of love.

I saw a social media post from a young couple I know, from Ulladulla on the NSW South Coast, noting that they were celebrating their fourth wedding anniversary. They are the sweetest couple and I have watched their relationship grow over many years - long before they married.

They are without a doubt best friends. They find joy in the simplest things and they are so kind to each other.

They moved into their first house of their own just over two years ago and the excitement they demonstrated as they made that house a home has been inspiring.

Then came their first child in mid-2021. The look on the faces of these two young parents as they navigate life as a family is pure joy.

Most recently they celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary with dinner at the same, somewhat, rustic location where they celebrated their marriage four years earlier.

I looked at their social media post announcing their fourth year of wedded bliss and immediately thought 'that is true love'.

I feel the same when I see and hear stories of people who are marking an even more significant anniversary milestone such as 50 or 60 years. This was the case of, Bill and Barbara Newman a couple from Goulburn in the NSW Southern Inlands who recently celebrated a diamond occasion.

One of the questions that is often asked of couples celebrating such milestones is 'what is the secret for a long and happy marriage?' The answer is usually along the lines of 'give and take, honesty and trust, shared memories, accepting your partner flaws and all, and standing by each other through the tough times' - and their will be tough times.

While many may expect 'love' to be the first answer. I have come to realise that such qualities as respect, trust, acceptance and complete commitment through the good and bad times is in fact, true love.

I met my husband in the Shoalhaven on the NSW South Coast about 37 years ago. I am convinced to this day that it was fate, but it took a car crash and four years for my husband and I to go from our first meeting to the day we started dating.

Now romance, in the way that most would expect it, has never really been our forte. He proposed to me over a home-made casserole and a glass of red wine. Valentine's Day tends to come and go with very little fanfare, and we have forgotten to say happy anniversary several times over the past 32 years of marriage - at least until mid-afternoon.

However, it is the simple things at random occasions that have always inspired our true love.

When we were younger he once gave me a beautiful jewellery box for no particular reason. The card read: "We missed Valentine's Day, I forgot our anniversary but just remember you are always in my thoughts and I gave you this gift for a non-event".

He frequently will take a flower from the garden and bring it in to me for no particular reason and he recently built me a wonderful raised veggie garden in the backyard of our NSW Southern Highlands home. Working in the garden is something we love to do together although our success rate with produce is a work in progress. Much like a good strong relationship.

And perhaps one of our most romantic anniversary celebrations occurred when we marked 30 years of marriage.

It was March 17, 2020. The global COVID pandemic had become a reality and Australia was only days away from its first complete shutdown. We could still have gone out for a romantic dinner, but we were unsure, and a little nervous about this new virus dominating the news and everyone's conversation.

So instead we had a romantic dinner of pies (straight from the freezer), peas, mashed potato and gravy. It was fantastic and a celebration I will remember fondly for ever. Hopefully we can do something similar on our 60^th wedding anniversary - without a pandemic, of course.

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