I don’t think I have done anything harder or more rewarding than being a parent. There has been nothing more joyful and sometimes nothing more disappointing. Parenting can be full of successes but it is never without its failures. Not only does it come with insights into our children but all too often we get uncomfortable insights into ourselves.

Troubling as the task of raising children may be, it is hard to argue that there is a more important job than parenting. In good or bad parenting is safety or danger, holding promise or curse for the future. I have not known a time in my life, like the present, when in the field of parental endeavour we face such a crisis of identity, almost narcissistic individualism, accompanied by family breakdown and sexual confusion. Today is the day for wise and involved parenting.

Eli was an Old Testament priest you meet in the Bible in the third chapter of a book entitled 1 Samuel. He had two delinquent sons who not only hurt a family but caused untold hurt to a community and nation. Eli’s children teach us that a child’s behaviour is never in a vacuum but will always affect others, even a nation.

Of course a child's delinquency can be matched by that of their parents. In 1 Samuel chapter three, God speaks to a prophet named Samuel about the parenting of Eli: "I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them."  The result of Eli's poor parenting was not just trouble in Eli's home, but if you read the story, it resulted in the loss of a war in which 30,000 men died and who knows how many families grieved.

From a parenting perspective, Eli knew about the sinful behaviour of his children and did nothing about it. The lesson? Unrestrained behaviour does not teach wisdom but allows for a growth in foolishness which at heart has no fear of God. The Bible makes clear for parents and children that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God and with that comes accountability. The Bible exemplifies the problem in Eli’s home, "Eli's sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the Lord."

There are many lessons in the Bible for parents but the poor model of Eli’s home should teach parents to be active and vigilant in their children’s lives, ready to correct and restrain them for their learning of wisdom and for the good order of society.  

To the children who might read this, be careful how you respond to your parent’s discipline. They know the consequences of your actions could ruin you and others. Whether they know it or not, your parents are accountable to God for the way they raise you. Parents have a terrible job of loving both you and the community enough to do that which more often than not you hate them for.

Every time you wish your parents were more like the parents who let their children do anything, you ought to realise that you have wished for a parent like Eli. He was the parent who allowed his children to self destruct and God to condemn. Eli was the parent who allowed for untold hurt to be visited upon an entire community. My guess is that there is warning for both parents and children in all of this.