Think of the hours of joy parents spend deciding what to name a child. Shall we go biblical - David? Or maybe popular - Jackson? What about redeploying the name of an ancestor - Ludwig? 

I could write a whole column about celebrity parents who give their children original names like Daisy Boo (child of Jamie Oliver), Blanket (Michael Jackson), Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone), and Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)​. 

Child naming used to be easier when couples reproduced year after year until the woman's uterus gave out.

For parents wanting only one or two children, the naming pressure can be great, leading to name-jamming. For instance, my first child has a hyphenated first name and a hyphenated surname, along with a middle name. My second child has one less hyphen but two middle names. 

When I was still in school, my parents opened a sporting goods store. Family members discussed possible names for the store. My idea prevailed: Superstar Sporting Goods. I still like that name.

Many people who live in rural areas name their property. For a few years, I lived at Spring Hill. Not a bad name - there is a spring, but the hill part is fanciful. 

Some individuals take so much delight in naming that they name their car. I am in that category. I drive the Silver Beauty. I own a newer car also, and I have not named it yet. Its exterior is dark, so I might call it Midnight. But I am open to suggestions.  

My naming desires do not end at cars. I would like to name a new disorder after myself. I want to join Parkinson or Alzheimer, but for something less serious. 

I had an idea in that realm decades ago. A friend (let's call him Buddy Baker) often amazed me by saying things with absolute confidence that were absolutely wrong. What I remember most is his prediction that he would not live past 35. He now is long past that age. 

I initially said that someone who was often absolutely sure and absolutely wrong had Buddy Baker syndrome. Then I decided to name the disorder after myself, for discovering it. You can help me - whenever you hear someone confidently spout nonsense, think: John Malouff syndrome.  

What have you enjoyed naming? Pets? Guitars? Cell phones?