IT’S NOT selfish to put yourself first, insists nationally renowned expert on health and wellbeing, Petrea King.
“The greatest gift you can give to your family and your community is the gift of your own physical, emotional and spiritual health. Then you might be useful for something,” she said during a visit to Armidale.
After recovering from leukemia in 1984, Petrea King started Quest for Life, a charitable foundation that offers seminars, workshops and residential programs for people confronting the challenges of severe illness, grief, loss and depression.
At an evening lecture held at NERAM, an audience of professional women hung on every word as Petrea discussed that perennial problem, the work/life balance.
“She had everyone mesmerised,” said Elizabeth Egan from the Armidale Business Chamber.
“It’s the way she presents, and her humour. We were enveloped in the wisdom she’s gained from all the pain and suffering she’s has gone through. You feel like you’re getting such solid advice.”
So, is it possible to find time for yourself when you’re juggling the double shift of full-time work and full-time family responsibilities?
“No, you won’t find the time,” Petrea said.
“You won’t find the time to meditate, or soak in a bath, or go to the gym, or play sport. You have to make the time. And for that it has to be a priority.You have to make an absolute commitment to replenish yourself first.”
She noted that the only place you see this idea actively promoted is on aeroplanes.
“They say first put the mask on you, then on the children. They don’t say run around and put a mask on everyone else until you collapse.”
As well as being executive officer for the business chamber, Elizabeth Egan is a single mum with children aged eight and five.
She came away from Petrea’s lecture determined to make exercise a priority and not to feel guilty about making time for it.
“I think it’s achievable if you say to yourself, I am going to be a much better person, for everybody - in my work environment and at home. Everybody’s benefitting.”
Petrea thinks it is unfortunate that many people wait until they are faced with one of life’s D’s before changing their habits.
She reels off a long list with practised ease: “A drama, a disappointment, a divorce, a diagnosis, a death, a doctor, a debt, a drought, a depletion, a disfigurement, a disability...
“When you bump into one of those D’s, everything that’s become second nature to you no longer works. And that’s what causes you to go deeper and find new ways of being, in relation to whatever the challenge might be,” Petrea said.
James Harrop, who recently faced the ‘D’ of a cancer diagnosis, attended Petrea’s one day workshop, Happiness is an Inside Job.
He found her message about living in the present instead of being preoccupied with the past or the future, particularly useful.
“Sloughing off the ‘I will be happy when ...’ habit was one of the most applicable lessons for me,” Mr Harrop said.
Phil Cater, who attended the same session, thought a lot of what Petrea said was commonsense. “But commonsense isn’t that common,” he added.
His wife Sally went along to the carers’ workshop the following day.
“What I thought was the most useful, and it doesn’t only apply to people with illnesses, is her philosophy for living. The idea that things happen to you and you can’t always change that, but you can change the way you respond. There’s nothing revolutionary about it, but it’s something we often don’t remember to apply. It seemed to me to be the core of her way of dealing with things,” Mrs Cater said.
Sally and Phil also appreciated the meditation sessions at the workshops.
“Meditation is not only calming and soothing, it has physical benefits, too. It can help with the healing process,” Mrs Cater said.
“I go to yoga and when we do relaxation, that’s a form of meditation. But I’m very bad at emptying my mind. When I’m lying there in silence, I find myself thinking about all sorts of trivial things. So I found the guided meditation, where she talks you through it, was easier, and I bought her meditation CD so we can practise at home.”
Plans are afoot to bring Petrea King back to Armidale later this year to run a five-day residential program.
“It may be a Healing Your Life program, so it’s open to people dealing with depression and anxiety, and loss and grief, as well as illness,” Petrea said.
“And if there are a lot of people with illness who come on the program, I’ll run some extra sessions during the week dealing specifically with nutrition and managing pain.”
Elizabeth Egan is seeking expressions of interest from people wishing to attend such a program. Email office@armidalechamber.com.au or phone 6771-1177.
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